There’s no question, society leads us to be our own worst critics. Where others see beauty and strength, we notice our flaws, imperfections, and the things we wish we could change. Tiffany Martin, owner of Ignite Cycle, says it’s time to stop the negative self-talk. We’ve got to become our own biggest cheerleaders, building ourselves up with the encouragement we would offer a trusted friend.

“We tend to compare ourselves to others,” says Martin, who instructs clients in indoor cycle classes five times a week. “It doesn’t help that we consume so much media that is curated – through creative poses, Facetune, and filters – to make normal bodies look, in many ways, abnormal. The reality is we could all eat the same foods and do the same workouts, and all our bodies would still look different. You’ve got to change your mindset,” Martin says. “The first step is just to pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Just like listening to what a friend is saying, listen to the conversation you’re having in your mind. Notice these thoughts without judgement. As you become more skilled in acknowledging your negative internal narratives, you can start to change them.”

“Broadly, there are two common ways we often use unhelpful self-talk. The first is comparison, and the second is the ‘shoulds’. When we compare the foods we eat, how we exercise, or our bodies to other people’s, we’re internally beating ourselves up. This is a habit worth taking the time to reframe.”

“We all know the ‘shoulds,’ whether by name or practice. ‘I shouldn’t eat that,’ ‘I should go to the gym,’ ‘I should wake up earlier so I can get more done.’ Sound familiar? It’s a pretty helpless place to be. Here’s the antidote: simply change ‘should’ to ‘could,’ and you instantly reclaim your power. Now, you get to decide if you will eat that, go to the gym, or wake up earlier. That tiny shift can go a long way in showing yourself more kindness.”

“A lot of people come to the studio wanting change. They might come in with primarily aesthetic goals. But fitness is about so much more. At Ignite, we want to help you not only feel better, but also feel better about yourself. We’re focused on so much more than an outcome that can be measured in pounds or inches.”

Martin and the other Ignite instructors speak with positive, encouraging language. She says it’s so important to retrain how you talk to yourself. “A lot of us spent some time at home during the pandemic. We were attached to our screens. Just like everything else, our exercise routines may have changed. It’s important to be kind to yourself. Practicing a gratitude-based mindset can help shift your internal narrative.”

Martin suggests taking inventory and truly giving thanks for everything you’ve been given. “It’s about realizing your body is so much more than what it looks like. It’s recognizing all the incredible things your body does for you.”

When you say…I wish I had her body.

Try…I am grateful I get to live in this body.

When you say…I've gained so much weight.

Try…I’ve cared for myself body, mind, and soul, to the best of my ability, during a pandemic that turned the entire world on its head.

When you say…My thighs are so big.

Try…I am grateful that my thighs help me lift my daughter up for a piggy back ride.

“Learning to speak to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend can be challenging…after all, you’re learning a new skill! But, as you continue to practice, it becomes easier. And you will be better inside and out because of it.”